So I have decided to write about our baby free night out (thanks to Paddys parents, hallelujah) because the grounds for good parents is a good relationship. Whether you are married, in a relationship or co-parent it is important to work together, support one another and respect each other’s ways.
My partner in crime is Paddy. He’s the dad to my two beautiful children (thanks for helping make them!) Honesty time; when we first moved in together (I won’t flower it up) we really rubbed each other the wrong way! We would disagree about practically everything and to put it bluntly we acted more like friends who had a child together rather than a couple. Our relationship was going downhill very rapidly! The man I loved and wanted to spend my life with was struggling to even hold my hand or kiss me goodbye when he left for work. It then started to affect my time with Delilah because we weren’t supporting each others choices with her and the way we parented. Sometimes you need time to remember that you’re both in it together, and you need to show a team front for the kids.
Thanks to my father in law (Paul, you absolute hero) who drove all the way from Kent to Manchester, where we were living at the time, baby sat Delilah so we could go out for dinner. It was heaven and not because we got to eat food with both hands and actually have a drink without yelling “be careful Lilah!!” or “Do not touch mummies drink please!!” but we actually got time to have an adult conversation and remember why we fell in love in the first place.
Once we started communicating and we remembered we are a couple first, parents second, things became so much easier. When Delilah was playing up or refusing bed time we worked together instead of against each other! What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to have baby free time and regain some of your sanity. It can actually be one of the most important things you need to do as a parent. I am ‘mummy’ and it’s a very important role which I carry with pride! However I am firstly ‘Sophie’ who like spending hours in lush and boots buying “crap we don’t need” (according to Pat), drinking gin and watching Keeping up with the Kardashians like its going out of fashion. To be good parents that relationship foundation has to be pretty solid, even if you aren’t together and you co-parent- be polite to each other, buy mother/fathers day presents for each other from the baby and go to their awards nights together! It’s far more easier, trust me.
Last night Paddy took me to the new Italian place in town and we had a great time – but things don’t have to be expensive to mean it’s a date. Some nights we put the kids early to bed, lay a blanket and cushions out whilst eating a chippy tea in front of a movie, sometimes we just go for a coffee or a drink down the pub but we always remember to be grateful for these little moments. I adore being a mum, being Sophie and being Paddy’s girl – it is possible to be all three at separate times and all at once. Never forget who you are and what you care about!
Love Sophie, Delilah and Indiana x
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