The NHS let me down

The NHS let me down

I’m writing this blog post because I have been asked a lot about it before so I wanted to tell my story properly and get it out. I would like to clarify that I am great lover of the NHS and everything it does for us however in my time of need they let me down.

I was 18 when I fell pregnant with Delilah, not practical or a great time but still a blessing, I had no idea what I needed to do or what the process was so I did the only logical thing I could think of.. I booked a doctors appointment. I sat down very timidly as I forced back the tears. I was still in college, living at home and barely even paid my phone bill on time let alone take care of a baby. I hadn’t actually decided what I was going to do but before I had a chance to even think about it BAM the fill in GP slapped leaflets to the local abortion clinic down on the table before I could even think or work out what the process was. She told me to book in with the midwife at 8 weeks but I didn’t because I was too frightened so I just left it until I had an appointment with my regular doctor to follow up a recent PCOS issue where he questioned whether I might be pregnant, a routine question, and said that yes I might be. I was 14 weeks and I left it because I was to afraid of being bullied again by the people who were supposed to be ensuring my health was a priority.

It didn’t stop there. I went to the NHS maternity classes where unfortunately Pat couldn’t come with me because he was working so I was in a room filled with middle aged, middle classed married couples who all wanted the same thing. I felt like the black sheep. I relayed this back to my midwife who told me also how this had happened with two other younger mums to be and they just got up midway through.

I went to view the maternity unit and again Pat was working to save up all the money we could for the baby. I was singled out yet again because I was on my own there was subtle digs about how “women could do it on their own”, “don’t worry we’ve had young mums here before”. Why was it necessary? Did they say to older mums to be “ohh we’ve had geriatric mothers before!”.

Throughout my pregnancy I being only 5ft 2 and 18 was smaller than the average child baring mother. Time after time I was constantly reminded about “how inappropriate it was for my body to be carrying a baby at my young age”. At the end I was being closely monitored with scans every week and midwife appointments every single day. It was emotionally draining.

I made it 39 weeks and was more than ready to give birth.

I was 6 cm in active labour in a birthing pool breathing through contractions when a midwife came in and read my notes. She commented on my age which was the same as her daughters but said “well I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be pregnant”. I was at my most vulnerable with a baby being squeezed out of my birth canal and this b*tch had the audacity to have a dig at me?!

Once I returned home I was so grateful to be in my own environment and I wanted to celebrate my beautiful baby. All I got was grief.

“Its normally the teen mums that get their make up back on and get out again”

“You can’t go back to normal you need to grow up and become a mum”

“It’s usually the young parents who feel depressed”

“Your friends are at different stages of life”

“No more going out and partying”

“You can’t afford to shop at Next you’re a young mum!”

“Young mums always give up on breastfeeding”

Again and again I was bullied my health visitor. I stopped answering the door to her and blocked her number. Enough was enough.

When I had Indiana I was scared to go to appointments, I missed appointments, I withdrew from any sort of help that was offered. Luckily I had a really good midwife named Steph and she was amazing. I was blessed to have her but my GPs were less than helpful with my aftercare. I had given birth twice in 15 months and my body knew about it! I went months without periods and when I did I bled for weeks. I bled so much that it went through a tampon, 2 maternity towels and a mattress. Unable to move I was blue lighted to hospital and treated. I was taken seriously and I was desperate for help. 6 times I went to my GP and begged for help. Again and again and again I was turned down. The NHS have let me down time and time again.

We aren’t planning on having a baby anytime soon at least not until we get the wedding out the way. We have said that one more baby would be the perfect addition to our family for sure! What we do know is that when the time is right we will plan it properly and go privately this time round. I’m sure I will get stick for saying that but it’s the truth.

I got my two healthy babies yes and I am more than grateful for that.

Fin

 

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FOR AISHA- let’s cook!

FOR AISHA- let’s cook!

When weaning came around with Indiana I struggled to find baby food I could give him because they all cleverly smuggled in dairy which wasn’t suitable for poor little Indi because of his allergies. I came across For Aisha baby food one day in Asda and thought I would give it a try because all the ingredients looked healthy, organic plus dairy free! Victories don’t happen often when you have a baby with allergies, reflux and couldn’t sleep because their belly was never fall. I did my research and found that their products were not only dairy free but Halal and all ingredients were sourced ethically.

When making baby food you always need to prepare, prepare, prepare! Do your sleepless minds a favour and bulk cook and portion them to heat them up after a busy day. I took a recipe from the For Aisha cook book soon to be released! I made the Chicken and Sweet potato meal, it went down a treat.

You will need:

• 100grams of chopped onions

• 1 tsp of garlic puree

• 1 tsp of ground ginger

• 1 tsp of ground coriander

• 1 tsp of black pepper

• 4 tbsp of chopped fresh coriander

• 50grams of chopped chicken breast

• 200grams of lentils

• 100grams of boiled and chopped butternut squash

• 300grams of peeled, boiled and chopped sweet potatoes

To make:

1. Make sure you clean your hands!

2. In a non-stick large casserole dish, place all the ingredients together over medium heat, except the sweet potatoes and squash.

3. Pour 100ml of water over the ingredients.

4. Cover with a lid and leave to simmer gently for 30 minutes (to ensure lentils are fully cooked).

5. Stir occasionally to ensure the ingredients don’t stick to the pan.

6. Once cooked put all ingredients (and the potatoes and squash) into a food processor and dived up into jars to freeze or refrigerate. I got about five portions out of it. When processing the food get it to the right consistency depending on the age of the baby. Indi prefers it lumpier but smaller babies beginning weaning are going to need it really smooth. Add warm water for this.

7. Let baby enjoy!

For Aisha is available from Boots, Asda, Morrisons, Tesco and even Whole Food!

This was a sponsored post by For Aisha, I would like express that I have always used their baby food and wouldn’t promote something that the children or I didn’t completely love.

#savvysleepover @ Fair Oak Farm

#savvysleepover @ Fair Oak Farm

It started last week when I had a bad day, a bad day that would rival all bad days. I was ordered to go and get in the bath by Pat whilst he cleaned up the pig sty that was Thursday. I soaked in the bubbles and promised myself better things were coming. So imagine my surprise when Hanna (@the_savvy_mummy) messaged me invite to the #savvysleepover! It was exactly what I needed.

Emma (@mumofmadlads) and I set off out into the middle of nowhere and after a breezy drive down country lanes we spotted pheasants and tractors so we knew we had made it!

The land was simply beautiful with a huge farm house, 2 treehouses, a huge barn with a bar, coach houses, huts and barns to sleep in! With a cinema barn, outdoor play area, zip line, huge trampoline, teddy bear cottage, alpacas and peacocks to admire so the kids were perfectly entertained.

Hanna (@the_savvy_mummy) organised plenty for us to do from wine in the hot tub, afternoon tea, blow dries + hair braiding (thehairstylist_vc), pizza making (@notherndough) and even a lovely Easter egg hunt for the children!

The cinema barn was loaded with popcorn (@propercorn) for us to chill out too.

Indiana my wild child was set free to roam about and walk where he pleased which was lovely to see him enjoy the freedom of running and playing sticks. Delilah had her pick of the girl gang to play with too.

It was so nice to get out of town and breathing fresh country air and spending quality time with them. It was also nice to meet up with the mamas who you see on their tiny squares but not in real life!

Well done Hanna it was a hit! Can’t wait for the next ❤️

This was a gifted experience and the following companies sponsored the event including:

  • Fair Oak Farm- http://www.fairoakfarm.co.uk
  • Best day ever party shop
  • Nuby UK
  • Vita coco UK
  • Dorset Cereals
  • Little light PR
  • My little piccolo
  • SNS cocktail
  • Fearne Mccann for Poundland
  • Peanut
  • Nothern Dough
  • Propercorn
  • Allwrappedup UK
  • My Freda
My children have colds AGAIN

My children have colds AGAIN

**** sake

Why are we in for more snow?! Why are we still wearing a million layers and why oh why are my children’s noses still running!!!

It’s the end of March and spring needs to hurry up. Fun fact: Delilahs middle name is Spring because she was born on the first day of Spring. With her birthday on Wednesday I feel as if we should of called her Winter or Snow.

If your children go to nursery/school/baby groups/after school clubs they are bound to get the horrid ‘sniffles’ too. Here’s what I do;

  • Calpol. Dose them up! It has sugar in also so will boost them up a bit.
  • Snufflebabe rub on their chest and on their feet (with socks on) it helps tremendously)
  • Snuggle up in warm fluffy clothes with hot milk and movies (Paddington 2 for us) the milk soothes their throat. If you’re trying to ditch the dummies/comforters then save it for when they’re better.
  • Cuddles! Lots of mama/daddy love to nurture them.
  • Sterimar breath easy- I had never hurt of it until my Paddys mum bought it round (along with everything to make an entire roast, beer, treats) and it’s amazing! It’s sea water and it helps clear out all their boogers to help them breath easier which is a god sent. Delilah can blow her nose lucky but Indi puts up a fight.
  • For night time I use a Calpol vapour. The pods last around 8 hours to help them breathing allllll night long. They also glow so double up as a night light!
  • Fresh air- even for 20 minutes round to the park for a quick swing. It won’t help being bunged up all day with the heating on and it certainly helps you mentally!
  • Olbas oil- drop a little into their bedtime bath to help steam out that bug.
  • Clean- dettol spray everything. I turn into a bit of a freak when the kids get ill, I sterilise everything too to refresh it all!
  • Wine- (that’s for you) a poorly child is de stressing for both parent and child so stay calm and chill. They’ll be back to drawing on your walls in no time!

What happened on our Valentine’s Day

What happened on our Valentine’s Day

If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know that I’m in a long term serious relationship with this guy

If you haven’t then this is Patrick (Pat/Paddy/Patchy/Bae/Baby Daddy) and we are getting married next year.

Today we celebrate our 5th Valentines together. I know, I know it’s not a major achievement but I’m a bloody nightmare/bridezilla at times.

So I thought I’d write a list on what we done for them:

1st- we had been together two weeks and I had already long before that promised to take my then 11 year old sister to see the Lego movie (which was shit) but I did go over to his house after to give him the cakes I baked for him. We got pizza.

2nd- we went with the friends to Bluewater for shopping and food. I was 8 months heavily pregnant and waddled about. We got tons of treats and spoilt each other. The four of us went to eat at TGI fridays and the waitress dropped dirty plates in my friends shopping bags (ruining a brand new Zara coat), we then had to move tables where a man on the next table broke up (and ended his engagement) to his girlfriend. All of food came out wrong and I don’t even think we paid for it. That night Pat and I got a Chinese and watched movies.

3rd- we went to the zoo! I was pregnant with Indiana and Delilah was only teeny! We had pizza in the evening.

4th- Pat treated me to a spa day and an afternoon tea. It was bloody heaven. Need I say more. I cooked a romantic dinner in the evening.

5th- this year we got a subway. We LOVE subway. Don’t sympathise for me because I was more than happy with it. I even cleaned the whole house, disinfected everything, deep the cleaned the oven etc. BORING I know. But we put the kids to bed, had a nice dinner and we watched a movie.

So none of these things are especially extravagant. I know. But that’s not who we are. We do however love each other verrrrrry much and making a conscious effort to make a little extra effort is nice. Just to treat each other, cuddle up and spend time together is really good to remember how much we do love and care about each other. Just to sit down and eat properly together is lovely!

I hope you all had a fab day however it was spend!

And to my babe. I love ya forever x

New year, same old me #2

New year, same old me #2

Guess who’s back? Back again! Sophie’s back.. tell a friend.

I’ve been slacking a bit on the whole blogging front and I apologise I’ve just been so busy with festive stuff and everyone has been bloody ill!!

However, I’ve taken the time to reflect the year and write out my New Years resolutions before this Christmas kicks off with a bang and I get too pissed.

1. To be me! Keeping it real this year and not caring so much what other think. Time is so precious and I have 3 people who love me for me. I love Instagram and social media I mean it’s a bit part of my life much but you can get sucked into it.

2. To plan a kick ass wedding! I need to get my arse into gear and get organised.

3. Work on my brand and make to time work on professional goals.

4. Become organised. Keep on top of cleaning stuff, pack lunches and Mum admin.

5. Stop wearing frumpy clothes. I hate the way I’ve become. I used to loves clothes! I feel so hopeless about clothing at the moment and want to get myself to be me.

6. For the love of all that is holy I need to lose my extra five chins I’ve acquired recently.

7. #goodvibesonly *cringes* but it’s the truth. For example I used to get wound up with one particular Dad who treated his children like absolute shite and spoke to them almost abusively trying to be funny probably but got away with it more compared to what a poorer father would of done, it drove me crazy. One day I thought I’m just to do something here…. I unfollowed him and all the accounts that bothered me. I forgot about them and was far happier for it.

8. Get Delilah to nursery on time. I’ve been a little tardy recently and I’m annoyed with my tardiness recently!!! It’s so hard to get two toddlers out on time.

9. To get the kids potty trained if it’s the last thing I do!

Hope everyone has a fabulous Christmas.

Lots of love,

Sophie, Paddy, Delilah + Indiana

Xxxxx