Flying with emotional baggage 

Flying with emotional baggage 

So something I talk about regularly is my mental health. I’ve had anxiety since childhood and I’ve suffered with PND for a while now but something I don’t talk often about is my fear of flying! Following a bad experience 7 years ago I haven’t flown since. At the time I didn’t really think about flying until I grew up and started thinking about things like my honeymoon (I don’t think Pat would be too impressed with old Bognor!) or the kids first holiday! I can’t let that fear be shared onto them and I certainly can’t stop them from seeing the world. Pat and I pride ourselves on being knowledgable and accepting of different cultures but what good was it to the kids if they were stuck on Butlin’s holiday parks forever? 
I was very lucky as a child and my parents took me on some crazy travelling adventures and I want that for the kids. So a few months ago we booked tickets for us to go with my friends to Spain. It’s hardly anywhere trendy like Budapest or something but it’s a short flight and I shall be solo parenting so for me it’s brave! 
I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be. I’ve been side tracked with packing and organising things because I’ve never flown without my parents so I’m rather distracted! But I’m putting on a brave face for the kids because 2 hours of mad anxiety is worth it for a two week well needed get away. 
I shall drive everyone crazy with pictures but I don’t care ✌🏽

Love Sophie, Delilah and Indiana x

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Mum night off #SAVVYSOCIAL

Mum night off #SAVVYSOCIAL

After tons of trips to the park, countless coffee mornings and god knows how many tantrums Shanice and I finally ditched the kids (thank god for Samy for babysitting at the last minute!) and headed for the big smoke in search of cocktails and good music.

We had been talking to Hanna (@the_savvy_mum) for a while and when we saw her advertise her #savvysocial we quickly booked!

We made our way up and out for a dinner which was lovely to eat without interruption from our whiny (but lovely) bubbas who demand juice/a poo/crisps and actually had a conversation that finished with complete sentences.. a sheer miracle! After much searching for some trendy London food we agreed what we really wanted was trusty Zizzis for Italian food and fizz.

We then headed over to the event in Southwark. We mingled, drank cocktails, boogied and chatted to other like minded mummas who also had braved leaving their babies at home to head out for a few hours of fun.

Along with all the exciting things at the event Hanna had got Charlotte Tomkins MUA (@makeupbyct) to glitter is up in full festival style!

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Fab food, fab company and fab host (plus a brilliant goodie bag). Well done babe, look forward to the next #savvysocial x

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A day out to the Riverhall Himalayan Gardens, Sevenoaks

A day out to the Riverhall Himalayan Gardens, Sevenoaks

When you have two children under two you’d think that finding different places to spend the day would be easy (oh how I was wrong) but without venturing up to the big smoke things can be really tricky. Also for my own sanity if I have to keep visiting the local park anymore than twice a week I think I’ll end up having some kind of mental breakdown. There are only so many times you can make small chat with fellow mums and take boomerang videos (you know the ones plastered all over everyone’s Instagram of your toddler going down the slide. We all do it, you know it, I know it. I’m guilty).

As a rule I’m not a very tolerable person. If employees are rude i’m not likely to rush back to spend my pennies (mamas on a budget of course!). I live in Kent (broken applause) and sometimes I forget what a beautiful area it is. So with the kids Nan and I took them to visit the Riverhall Himalayan Gardens which is located in Sevonoaks. I usually reserve judgement of new places but blow me down I actually had a laugh. And we only had 1 tantrum from Delilah (small victories count when you have a drama lama for a daughter).

We ventured around the den building area where Delilah explored and created her own little space whilst Nan and I enjoyed a nice walk pushing Indie in the buggy, up by the bluebells it was very hilly and bumpy so make sure you have your mountain style buggies with you. (I admit I forgot my bungee cords and campfire building set but luckily all it took was some sturdy pairs of wheels.) It was so lovely to get Indie out and let him enjoy the fresh air and it allowed Delilah to burn off that forever lasting energy (where the hell does it come from?!). Also if you keep your eyes peeled in the summer holidays and weekends (around 2-4pm) you might even spot the Yeti! Let’s all be honest though, that poor bloke or woman cavorting around in that costume just after midday is definitely not being paid enough. We salute you Yeti-thing.

The adventure playground was in another league in comparison to the local swings and to see Delilah’s little face light up in excitement was unreal. Even I got a little bit excited seeing some of it, and I’m not ashamed to admit how many kids I ran past aiming for the HUGE slide myself. We felt safe for Delilah to run free in the play area and just go crazy! There was also plenty of benches for you to have a pit stop and scroll through Instagram and pretend that you aren’t completely counting down the very last minutes until bed time so you can catch up on Hollyoaks. JUDGE ME SEE IF I GIVE A FFFFF.

We took a stop around the Himalayan hedge maze (mainly for me and my obsession of mazes). I was hoping to “accidentally” lose the kids in the maze just for like, a minute, to get a break. No chance. Delilah was this crazy ninja blur, only occasionally stopping to scream “MUM” in my face before tearing off down some other twists and turns. One can dream. (disclaimer I love my children, i’m just honest).

Entry was really affordable at £8.25 for an adult ticket and under fours free (loud applause) it was a bargain! They also offer season tickets which I recommend if you loved it as much as we did. Dogs are welcome also and I recommend wearing sensible shoes but if you forget they have a delightful selection of wellies that other people have worn you can borrow for free. I’m now lost in my own mind imagining an entire family inside the ticket area going “OH NO. OUR SHOES! WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THEM!”, laughing at each other’s socks. That’s when the wellies are produced and we all get the same sinking feeling whenever we visited a bowling alley as youngsters. Errrrrm….no thanks. I’ll go barefoot. Be one with nature and all that.

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At the moment they are running a bluebell walk which is absolutely stunning. Bluebells are really special to me because I used to go for walks with my granddad behind their house and pick bunches of them and bring them home for my Nan. Since he died I’ve always felt a special connection to them and it reminds me of a happy memory. We met up with photographer and good pal Emily Brown took who some snaps of me and the kids. It created a beautiful backdrop for the pictures which went STRAIGHT on my Instagram (thank you!). Emily took my lovely maternity shot and was and still is fabulous to work with. She is so good at getting the children to engage with her and enjoy it as well, nothings a chore for her not even a stroppy Delilah! I truly recommend her for nice natural photos especially if you are like me and dislike the whole cringe matching denim tops posed family portraits. She actually takes a decent picture of you and your little monsters looking, well, not like monsters.

By the end of shoot the kids had had enough and weren’t playing ball because lunch time was approaching. Delilah was rubbing her belly yelling “I HUNGRY MUMMA!”. She is indeed her mother’s daughter. We took a break in the Riverhall Cafe where mine and Nan’s eyes lit up once we saw the selection of home made cakes and scones. My diet briefly went out the door at this point and we snacked on cake and coffee whilst the kids munched down. Silence lasted an entire ten minutes and it was GOLDEN. But if you want to bring your own picnic spread there are tons of picnic benches and good spots to bring a blanket with you.

They also provided free water for everyone (including dogs!) and next to the cafe they had a wendy house with activities and toys for kids which was so ideal. They had a little shop as well of really cool little things where I had to physically restrain myself from grabbing armloads of cutesy shop-junk and haul it over to the till.

Overall, 10/10 day. Spot on. What matters really is my kids had fun, and I had fun. Sometimes you forget as a parent what it means to “have fun”. You have to sit back, take the piss a bit and enjoy the little things. Like stank wellies, and beautiful bluebells.

Love Sophie, Delilah and Indiana x

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Edited by Ellie Jones- contact us for any editing needs. 

This post is for Riverhall Himalayan Gardens and Emily Brown photography and the opinions in the post are all of my own.

A day out at Kent Life

A day out at Kent Life

Hello everyone!
So I’m terrible at starting posts, how do I start?! “Hello”?!
“Soooo…”?!
“Hey it’s Nicole” (if you’ve seen these videos you’ll know)

Anyway, I actually wrote out a whole post about things I was stressed about. Then when I went to check it over and get it edited I realised how horrendously boring it was to read about me bitching and whining. When really we have each other’s backs as friends, mothers, sisters… in hind sight aren’t THAT bad.

So to cheer us up and after missing my Nan soooo much when she was away we spent the day out at Kent Life in Maidstone!

When we got there we had some lunch at Dotties cafe which can only be described as the cutest tea room ever! They did gluten free bread so Indie was sorted.

We petted and fed the animals…

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We went on a tractor ride!

We ate ice cream!

We played in the outdoor play area, climbed, ran, jumped and had a great adventure.

For one day I didn’t think of anything stressful, I didn’t feel depressed… I just enjoyed my children. Got to take pictures of them, play with them, feed the animals. I had a good day.

It was such a good day that the fact Delilah threw so many tantrums it was unreal! And she also found a dummy and I couldn’t prize the fucking thing off of her for love nor money so upside smiley emojis all the way.

If you can take one good day then the rest don’t really matter. We are in this together mummas. Stay strong.

Love Sophie, Delilah and Indiana x

Delilahs outfit is from Gap America (last years) and her socks & ribbon were purchased at Dagenham Market.

Indianas outfit is for Little Bird and Mothercare (this seasons).

The buggy is my spare car buggy and it’s a Mothercare Nanu. Which I have to say is a great stroller and good value for money.

Editing Ellie Jones- contact us for any AWESOME, WELL-PUNCTUATED, HARD GRAMMATICALLY-CORRECTED EDITS👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻💯💯💯💯

Guest blogger- Lucie from www.mamjustbreathe.wordpress.com

Guest blogger- Lucie from www.mamjustbreathe.wordpress.com

Lucie has just started in the world of blogging and her first entry is being guest appeared on Mummy Deer. WELCOME LUCIE.

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I’m Lucie and I’m 32, living in Cornwall. Lover and mama to one beautiful specimen who forgot how to breathe and just be.

A week ago I sat in CDG airport in Paris, without my bebe but with my lover; I sat in the departure lounge silently patting myself on the back.

If you would have told me three years ago that this would be possible, I would have laughed, primarily at you for even suggesting this and secondly at myself for the state I was in.

Three years ago I was trapped, trapped within my parents’ house, trapped within myself holding a six month old bebe.

I sat on my parents sofa, frozen in time, crying; my parents questioning the  ‘baby blues’ to which we all believed that what I was experiencing was a natural feeling for all first time mothers.

Truth be told, eight weeks before my due date, my parents and I packed my bags and left the house I was sharing with daughters father. Fast forward six months in and I was finally coming to the terms of bringing up a child all on my own. Overcome with responsibility, guilt and personal inadequacies I sunk into a deep hole of crippling anxiety.

Anxiety was not a new friend to me; I welcomed it into my life in my late teens following secondary school bullying, shitty boyfriends and a few too many bad choices. Despite my amazing childhood that my parents had provided for me; it simply wasn’t enough; or more to the point I wasn’t.

I assumed that my ‘magical’ pregnancy would wave goodbye to my demons, turned out they were lying dormant waiting for the most opportune moment to strike.

Fast forward to the present and I am finding that the more mothers that I cross paths with is that this is extremely common; and many, many birthing stories aren’t picture perfect. Not quite the classic ‘one born every minute’ episode and after experiencing this life changing moment, mentally, physically and psychologically we as mothers are drained; and how can we turn to someone and ask for help when selfishly we have been granted with the most perfect creation: our child.

Once when I reached out for help, I was told to look at what I had and realise that what you have is more than enough; to hear what I was experiencing was ‘alien’ and shouldn’t be happening as I had been blessed. If only it were that simple; I could see a beautiful bebe, I could also see fear, guilt and people’s opinions on my forthcoming judgements and child rearing abilities.

Anxiety and depression within pregnancy and post birth can strike; I painted my face in clown make up, I slathered my face in a ‘show’ smile. Ironically I hate clowns, funny though I feel like the last three years I have been trying to remove my stage makeup and hang up my bowler’s hat, gregarious iconic outfit and exit the circus tent.

I found solace in endless cups of coffee, laughing with my mother and my best friend sending me endless love via a postcard.

All I needed was a  vent; a blank page, possibly an ear, time and a mirror. My dads theory; a mirror.  ‘Get in front of that mirror’. That god damn mirror, the mirror to stand tall in; to take a look at your miraculous self and tell yourself out loud that today, just today, as tony would say you are grrrrrrreat.

Once you realise that what you feel and write down is not the end of the world, it’s actually not that bad and neither are you.

Love Lucie x

follow and subscribe to Lucie at http://www.mamajustbreathe.wordpress.com

If you are interested in featuring as a guest blogger please contact me via email at sophieakamumydeer@gmail.com

20 things about me

20 things about me

After a few tags I thought I’d do my 20 things about myself! So here goes…

One– WHERE TO BEGIN? I’m a trained hairdresser, I cut my days at school to focus on learning more about hairdressing. I adore doing hair. All my friends get free haircuts too.
Two– my favourite flowers are peonies. But I also love orchids. I went to an art exhibition on orchids being compared to vaginas which was.. Interesting?
Three– I’m addicted to crap telly. Teen mum, made in Chelsea, TOWIE. The list is endless.
Four– I have an allergy to cosmetics and mosquitos. I can only wear and use hypoallergenic products. People still buy me products I’m allergic too and it makes me really angry.
Five– My vision is horrendous. I wear contact lenses. But my sisters blind in one eye, has no depth perception and is long sighted in her “good eye” so I got off lightly.

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Six– I once streaked in the snow. I used to be fun, cool, outgoing. Now most nights I’m in bed by 9pm.
Seven– I’m crazy over murder and crime documentaries. The gorier the better. I’m pretty certain I’ve plotted Paddys murder down to the minor details. Every time he leaves dirty pants around I add more sinister stuff (I’m joking Pat, I love ya).
Eight– I’ve had 4 tattoos done. My first a ying yang in a flower on my arm, I got it because it was pretty, no meaning. I have Delilahs name on my other arm. The woman who did it was a rude bitch and I will get it re done because of the bad job she did. I then got Paddys name tattooed on my leg, went on a break so I got it tattooed over with a huge deer in a mirror and roses, A really good tattoo artist did it and I’m so glad he did it. A girl in Germany loved it so much she copied it. It was a really bad copy and makes me so angry.

Nine– whilst I was pregnant with both kids I had severe nightmares. They were sooooo bad and I even got sleep paralysis.
Ten– I’ve been a bridesmaid three times. And for my own wedding I will have 5 and 2 flower girls.
Eleven– Both children have name sakes to one of my friends. Delilahs full name is Delilah-Eleanor after my friend Ellie. Indiana after Indiana Jones, Jones being her last name.


Twelve– I’ve been to loads of parts of the world including Miami and Thailand. My dream holiday would be either Las Vegas or India to see the Holi festival.
Thirteen– BUT I am afraid of flying due to horrendous turbulence when hitting a storm on the way to a family holiday.
Forteen– I’m far better at DIY than Paddy, all furniture is put together by me, picture frames put up? Me, fixing things? Me. When we first moved in he tried to put a stall together and cut his hand open.
Fifteen– I’ve had 9 piercings in total. I only wear 3 now though.

Sixteen– My biological dad has been married six times and not to my mum. I also have three half sister and a half brother.

Seventeen– I have one foot bigger than the other.
Eighteen– My drinks of choice are gin and tonic, prosecco or Malibu and coke. Depending on how I’m feeling.

Nineteen– My takeaway of choice is fish and chips.
Twenty– My all time favourite movie is Pretty Woman. Whenever I was off school poorly Nan and I would watch it.

Aaaaaand there you go!

Love Sophie, Delilah and Indiana x

NOT EDITED BY ELLIE BECAUSE SHE’S ON HOLIDAY THE LUCKY COW

WHAT’S IN MY BAG

WHAT’S IN MY BAG

Being a mum of two under two involves a hell of a lot of lugging around. Who knew such tiny humans needed such a lot of well…STUFF. So I have delved into my nappy bag to show you what I carry!

I scrolled through tonnes of shops online and couldn’t find one I really loved at an affordable price but I did find this gym bag in Primark which I doubled up as a nappy bag. It also matches my black and soft pink Bugaboo Donkey perfectly! Plus it was only £12 (!!!)

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  1. Water wipes- Pre Delilah I would wear lovely sparkly stuff and not have a care in the world what was in my products until whilst pregnant I got a cosmetic allergy and now can only use hypoallergenic products (as only can Delilah). I never knew how much crap was in baby and make up wipes so I was lucky to discover Water Wipes. They are genius! Always carried for bums, messy faces and sticky fingers!
  2. Nappies- in each size, pretty self explanatory there.bag3
  3. Water bottle- I am currently dieting (and trying very hard to do so as well) so I need to drink 3 liters per day. It’s also exhausting and thirsty work trying to tame little ones and as I’m prone to fainting (swooning if Tom Hardy is reading the bedtime story) and have been anaemic is pretty important for me to stay hydrated.
  4. Juice cup- or “JUICEEE!” as Delilah more commonly yells. She only drinks water and on the odd occasion drinks a fruit juice if we are out but they can be pricey if you’re buying one every time you go out so I always carry one for her. She uses a no spill cup from MAM.
  5. Note pads- Trying to remember absolutely everything is impossible! I jot down blog post inspo, things we need (normally milk) and all them bits and bobs that I can’t remember because sleepless nights are killing my brain. I also adore stationary so there is always a notepad in my shopping basket. I like to pretend I’m organised!
  6. Toys and books- aka distraction and occupiers whilst I do things, shop etc,.
  7. Blanket- for nap time snuggles, Indie’s fave is a lovely woollen GAP blanket.
  8. iPad- for when Delilah has a FULL SCALE meltdown that will only be calmed down by Ben elf, Holly and that fucking rude little lady bird (if you know, you know). I used to look down my nose at parents that shoved electronics in front of their kids whilst they did things. I have come to learn that it isn’t selfish or mind numbing for children, sometimes a little down time is needed and it is perfectly acceptable for parents to want some bloody peace every now and again.bag2
  9. The ‘me pouch’- the little bag of essentials to keep me tip top during the day (deodrant, spray, hair bands, lippy, medication, tampons) I keep mine in a mere soeur bag, you can grab your’s on this link> https://meresoeur.com/products/girl-gang-pouch
  10. EMERGENCY CRY STOPPERS- Delilah doesn’t have a dummy during the day anymore and Indie vary rarely has one either but I take one JUST IN CASE.
  11. Purse- to pay for shit obvs. I used to carry a big mulberry that took up so much room. I have reluctantly opted for a coin purse to wedge my cash, card and boots card in.
  12. Snacks- Always carry some nibbles for if they are flagging a little. I prepare fresh snacks at home but when I’m on the go we go for Kiddylicious or Goodies!
  13. Sunglasses- because the sun glare coming off my phone when we are at the park is near on blinding.

What nappy bag do you have and what do you take out with you? Let me know so we can cry over never having any room for anything anymore and carrying a bag the size of a small house around. (At least our upper arm muscles are ripped)

 

Love Sophie, Delilah and Indiana x

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Editor- Eleanor Jones. Contact us if you require edits on any writing